queer authors: make all your characters queer. every single one of them. leave no room for alternate cishet interpretations. make straight people uncomfortable. let them cry about how unrealistic it is that no one is cishet. bottle their tears and pour them over your morning pancakes. savor the taste of their discomfort.
remember when zack and cody entered a parallel universe
and london was smart
and maddie was dumb
and esteban was a woman
so basically they were their stereotypes
yesterday i went to buy something and the store owner looked up and said something to me in chinese and i was so surprised i just said “what” in english and then we stared at each for a full ten seconds like what the fuck we are in spain